Tomato Mushroom & Olive Tilapia

Posted 11/16/2022 By:

Austin Lemieux

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Tilapia Filets
Diced Tomatoes
Kalamata Olives
Green Olives
Baby Portobello Mushrooms
Yellow Onions
Kosher Salt
Black Pepper


Basic bitch tilapia, fried in some olive oil and spices, cheap and friendly but needs a god damn dressing of some kind. So I put together some olives, onions, tomatoes and mushrooms to add some flare to the tastelessness of tilapia. A broke bitches paradise, probably fits your budget swimmingly. If you're a rich bitch you might wanna move on though, it's probably beneath you, you sophisticated twat.


First up, fry up your tilapia. As you'll start to learn I use my cast iron a lot because my stove is a piece of shit, but if you wanna use non stick that's fine too you lazy piece of shit. Basically heat some olive oil up, make sure it's shiny like the tip of your dick, toss the tilapia in and sprinkle with salt and pepper. 
While that cooks go ahead and get your mushrooms cleaned and sliced, yellow onions sliced into crescents, your olives cut in half and your garlic diced. A lot of knife skills here, don't lose your finger. If you do, might as well leave the burner on while you go to the ER so when you come home there's no evidence of your fuck up.
After the tilapia is done, we're making the sauce. In the same pan, heat up a little more olive oil, and dump in the olives, mushrooms, onions, and garlic like your girlfriend dumped you last night and the reason you're here trying to fucking make your own food. Let that get fragrant like an all nighter of debauchery and then add in your tomatoes. Obviously add more seasonings here, I recommend obviously salt and pepper to taste, but basil, oregano, parsley, etc. would be excellent here as well. If you like some kick maybe even some red pepper flakes, you fucking savage.
Let the sauce simmer until thickened like that black guys penis who cuckolded your wife last weekend, then serve it up. Plate your tilapia down and top with the sauce like your mom probably tops your dad once a year. Serve to yourself since you're probably single, congratulations. No girlfriend needed anymore at this point.