Chimichurri Sauce

Posted 11/13/2022 By:

Austin Lemieux

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Fresno Chiles
Red Wine Vinegar
Olive Oil


Chimichurri sauce is like basil pesto, but instead of basil it uses parsley and oregano. It's not hard to make but by the time you're done (unless you cheat and use a food processor you lazy fuck) you'll have enough arm strength you'll start to look like a chronic masturbator. It pairs well with red meat, and can be used as a marinade. Just soak your cut of meat in it like you soak your German fuck buddy in piss.


Separate the oregano from the twigs, unless you like being a wood chuck and don't value your teeth. After that go ahead and deseed your chiles. Basically a pepper abortion if you think about it. If you bought garlic cloves instead of peeled garlic go ahead and get those peeled as well, since you took the hard route or your grocery store fucking sucks.
After all that go ahead and give your garlic, parsley, oregano and chiles all a rough cut. You're gonna beat the shit out of it like you're wearing a wife beater so no need for a fine cut.
Toss that shit into the pestle and mortar like you get your salad tossed every night by bubba. Go ahead and start grinding until it's almost a paste consistency similar to your soupy shits. After that go ahead and grind in a little bit of red wine vinegar, and then add olive oil with another quick grind. When it's done it should be a sauce, almost like your man snot. If it is then you're ready to marinade or serve on top of grilled meats.