Chicken Piccata

Posted 11/13/2022 By:

Austin Lemieux

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Chicken Breasts
Chicken Stock
Baby Portobello Mushrooms
Black Pepper
Olive Oil
Corn Starch


A delicious and tasty meal in America, a basic bitch meal in Italy. Chicken piccata is a relatively simple and easy to make dish consisting of beat up chicken breasts, in a sauce of capers, mushrooms, lemon and chicken stock. You can add white wine as well you fucking alcoholic, but you're the chef and like any recipe everybody does it their own way. I typically serve it over angel hair, but only do that if you know how to get them Al Dente 'cause nothing ruins a good meal like when the pasta is limper than your dick.


First up, get your chicken breasts cut in half and your garlic a fine dice. Then pound the living shit out of them with a meat mallet; Pretend your jacking off. You want them thinner than a crack whore. Dust in flour like your dusting that midnight hooker you bought last weekend in cocaine.
Heat up your skillet with some olive oil, I prefer to use my cast iron because my stove is a piece of shit and it holds heat better. Your mileage may vary if you're a rich fuck with a nice kitchen. Anyways, cook the breasts in the pan and remove as they finish, season obviously unless you like bland food. Use salt, pepper, parsley. Don't over do it less they come out drier than your mom's twat.
Add a little more olive oil to the hot skillet and toss in your chopped garlic and capers. Get them good a fragrant like your pits after running a mile. When that's ready deglaze your pan with the chicken stock and juice your lemons in. Let that simmer down, and add corn starch a little bit at a time to thicken. You want it the consistency of jizz. When the sauce is ready go ahead and add the chicken back in, let it warm up and serve over spaghetti or angel hair. Easy peasy, try not to fuck it up.